I rocked back and forth as I leant over the pile of pillows I was using to support myself. My womb was contracting in waves, just like when I was birthing my children. Although this felt incredibly more intense.
Grief and a flood of emotions and memories were pouring forth from the depths of my womb space as my body contracted yet again to push all that is no longer needed from deep within me. All that needs to be released back to Mother Earth. All that has been held safe deep within.
I see myself in a vision, another time. Both of us aware of the other self. She/me/we are bent over in the same position, me over pillows, her over the most soothing warm stone. A stone that was used for thousands of years, for thousands of women. It had been smoothed into the most supportive shape as each woman sunk into its warm support. Behind and around me I can feel and hear the gentle movements of the other women. Those who are tending the fire, stiring the plant infused tea, the perfect plant allies for me in this moment. The women sitting, witnessing, being, holding me and all I am releasing. I am aware as I moan and cry in pain and release, that within these women I see my sacred reflected back to me. They understand that there is no difference between a painful period, a miscarriage, a termination, a release of sexual trauma, a release of heartache, a release of deep grief. They understand the deep mystery and power of each Woman’s womb magick.
I can feel their tenderness, their care, their understanding, their strength, their deep knowing and their deep honouring of me as sacred.
This brings me to such sobbing, back in this present moment, where my pillows are holding me, my Husbands warm hands are soothing my lower back and hips and I grieve the circle of women. I grieve the sacred. I grieve that warm stone, the earth beneath my feet , the full moon above me and the light of the fire behind me.
As I grieve, I release…..
